My journey to be a mum started when I was about to turn 38. Until then I never wanted children, I thought my life was complete with my two gorgeous dogs, but children? Nope, not for me. Continue reading “Four Angels”
Hubby and I had been married for about a month when we found out we were pregnant. We were both over the moon. Early on I began to spot and the spotting continued for 9 days. I was reassured by the doctor that everything was fine and it was normal.
I was over the moon when I saw the little pink line confirming I was pregnant with my first child, after having just moved in with my fiancée Adrian. Everything was slotting in nicely and we were both extremely excited at the prospect of starting a family. Although I knew at the back of my mind things could sometimes go wrong, and there was an unsaid rule to wait three months before telling people my news, I was bursting with happiness and rejoiced in sharing my excitement with friends.
For the first time I got excited. Is this really real, am I really seeing what I’m seeing?
Time goes on…it obviously wasn’t my time. Something happened that was out of my control. People told me don’t worry it’s not just you, it happens to plenty of women.
It’s been a while since I’ve thought about it, until a friend told me she was pregnant. While I’m happy for her, I had a small pang of, ‘I Wish…’. We have two healthy and happy girls so I’m not complaining, it was just a hard road to get to this point.
I had a missed miscarriage this past week. I went to a bulk billed scanning place for my 7 and 8.5 week dating scans. They scanned me externally and said there was no baby and completely freaked me out because I had the gestational sac, yolk sac, no bleeding etc. I asked them for a trans-vaginal scan to confirm and they refused me both times, saying it won’t make a difference.
I am a very happy (and grateful) mother to a beautiful 10 year old bright, bubbly and vivacious daughter. It has been a long time since I lost my two precious babies, but there is honestly not a day that goes by where I don’t wonder what could have been.